The mother starts taking her blouse off. Girls! T. Sean Shannon: Three women of color, they go into this agent's office. Ooh. I like Uncle Waldo. Girls. Oh, no. Let's see. Go! I'm tryin'to get to shore. Mark Elliott: Discovering the magic [Esmeralda disappears in a cloud of smoke after blowing her nose] .within himself. "The Aristocrats" is a taboo-defying off-color joke that has been told by numerous stand-up comedians and dates back to the vaudeville era. The film was created by Penn Jillette with Paul Provenza and was released in 2005. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Oh, indeed I do. Hello, kittens. Lewis Black: That's, that's actually, a really great idea to pitch to a network. But it is notquite Shakespeare. A very enthusiastic--. Lafayette:Okay,man, let's charge. O'Malley: Trouble? Napoleon: Wait a minute! Both of you, go ahead. and the father goes, "Watch us." Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: So good to see you, Georges. August 12, 2005 Roquefort:[ Breathing Hard ]No trouble, he said. Uh-oh. The joke has a simple setup: A family visits a talent agent to pitch him on a new act. What happenedto your lovely tail feathers? He sneaked upbehind me and tailgated me. What's this? . Guard #1: (Tries to get back up, but Achilles sits on him) Woah! Only for those aged 17 and older. That's four times twelve. Edgar Balthazar: [Shoes Squeaking] If I were those mongrels, where would I find my stuff? Toulouse: I was havinga funny dream. I think it's wrong I've done a lot of PSA's do NOT f*** your family. Pretty soon, all of them are completely naked including the dog, who takes his leash off.. All right. My own penthouse pad. The horse hits Edgar with her back legs and he flies into the trunk. Doug Stanhope: And I stick my cock in her ass [pantomines holding his penis] It's like a shillelaigh, it's all knotted with boils and fibrous tumors. Hallelujah! Edgar Balthazar:Uh, allow me, Madame. Very good. Bill Maher: It's a family act, but it's a twist because they're retarded. It's a mother, father, their son and daughter, and a little baby. 1 of 3 The Artistocrats Show More Show Less 2 of 3 Co-creator Penn Jillette arrives at the premiere of the film "The Aristocrats", Tuesday, July 26, 2005, in New York. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:[Madame]Of course we will. Get those twoweb-footed life guards outta here, okay?! It's from Carmen,isn't it? Georges Hautecourt:Very well. Abigail: Oh, how horribly nice! He's got a very huge wiener. I'll get flat feet. Duchess: Well, darlings, l--I just don't know. Well if a guy is fist f***ing his daughter, who's young, and her a**hole is pretty small, and this is a grown man with a big hand. I know, i know, i still need to get the cast names in there and i'll be eternally tweaking it, so if you have any. [ Sighing ], Lafayette: Well, shootfire, man. I'll think of a way. Good. The husband, he plays chess with Timmy - and then the maid comes in with strawberries and whipped cream, and they all eat a nice dessert. I was asleep a winkall day. Birds of a feathermust [ Hic ] together. O'Malley: "Swingers." We're just a pairof sentimental old fools. It's "Roquefort". Isn't she, Duchess? Duchess:Oh, Thomas, Thomas,that would be wonderful. Georges Hautecourt: [ Laughing ]Come on, Edgar. I lie on a chaise lounge, naked, reading sonnets from Shakespeare, and my third sister, she makes a painting very similar to Decroix's 'The Girl'." The garbage canswhere common kitties play. O'Malley: Well, that's a long way off,so we better get moving. [The Walt Disney Masterpiece Collection logo appears]. Something smells awfully good. Just we two. The aristocrats is a terminal movie. Uncle Waldo: Girls, it's outrageous! Whoo-whoo! That seems to make the whole joke. Like he wants to know, like the name's the important thing! Brainless lunatic! Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [Laughing] Oh, Berlioz. Napoleon: What was that? What do you call the act?" And the agent says, "Well, what do you call them?" Oh! Roquefort:A-A-Alley cats!? Charge! Young cat. Doug stanhope's variation of the aristocrats joke. We're on holiday. I can walk into NBC tomorrow and say I have a dysfunctional family idea. Call the cops! I'll be right back, y'all. O'Malley:[offscreen]Look, I'mgonna need help right away. I-l mean, eat--Eat well, of course. Duchess: Another flight intothe fantasy, Monsieur O'Malley? Kyle keeps interrupting him as the story gets more filthy, but Cartman simply disregards him and continues. Scat Cat: That's it, cats, come on let's do this for more! Georges Hautecourt: You haven't got an extra foot,have you, Edgar? Being British, I wouldhave preferred sherry. Duchess: Now, now, darlings. [offscreen]Berlioz, here we are. Roquefort:Don't worry about me! Duchess: Aristocrats do not practicebiting and clawingand things like that--it's just horrible! [Offscreen]Good riddance. Berlioz: Look, guys! And I'm gonna shine my shoes with my vagina juices, put 'em back on, tap-tap-tap, do a split, and that's the act! Duchess:Very good, darling. Beau Weaver: From moviesto magical vacations. [ Singing ]Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ayTa-ra-ra-boom-de-ay[Humming]. I do believeyou've been drinking. Thieves: [singing] Scheming up a scam, out on a limb. Georges Hautecourt: [ Singing ]Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ayTa-ra-ra-boom-de-ay[ Humming ]Oh. Say "cheese. Roquefort:H-How about--O' Grady? Marie: Goody. Get-- Get washed downa storm drain. Aufwiedersehen. And just as he gave life to "Cinderella" and "Pinocchio". And I always throw in that. Edgar stabs a mound of hay with a pitchfork. It falls over, shrieking. And that! Duchess? I'm outta here! Amelia: And he's going about itall the wrong way. Wish me luck. The cat runs to the stable door and locks it. Duchess: [Laughing]Why, monsieur,your name seems to coverall of Europe. To my cats. Edgar Balthazar: Careful, sir. Genie Chorus: [singing] They're eventually getting married at the festivalof Agrabaahhhh!!!! Robin Williams: It's a kindler, gentler genie! Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [voice]No, no, no, Georges. Poppycock, man! Oh, dear. It's very niceof you. That'll be turning it on. Kittens, come along! [The workers take the trunk and drive away. Hmm? Mark Elliott: "Toy Story", the newest Disney sensation on video. Duchess:[ Laughing ]They could hardly keep their eyes open. Rita Rudner: Where did these people find employment? [offscreen] Maybe we'd betterfind another place, huh? Scat Cat: [ Trumpet Blaring ][ Laughing ]Well, looky here. Frou-Frou grabs Edgar by the jacket. Lafayette:This sure beats runnin', Napoleon. [Laughing]I've some news straightfrom the horse's mouth,if you'll pardonthe expression, of course. The joke was the subject of a 2005 documentary film of the same name. Mark Elliott: With it's all-new 37th animated motion picture! Marie: Ooh, that would be wonderful, sir! Duchess:Oh, darling, if,if only I could. When they're seenupon an airing. O'Malley: Oh, how sweet. Title of infamous joke without a punchline. This is reallynot lady like. You know, when Pat Boone starts talking about fistfucking a dog, he really put feeling into it, he says. You know, they make the morningradiant and light. Berlioz:Hooray, we're home! A family walks in to a talent. Mother's going towork for Mr. O'Malley. [ Grunting ] Okay, Laffy, you're right, it's the end. Duchess: (offscreen)Oh, yes, Monsieur O'Malley. But, anyway, he says, "What is it called?" Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [offscreen]Careful, Toulouse! Nice goin; Toulouse. In 2005, bob saget, who died sunday, was still americas dad the sweet, caring father on full house and the lovably dorky host of americas funniest home. Amelia: And by the way, when we get to Paris,you must meet Uncle Waldo. Duchess: (offscreen; chuckling)Yes. Hugo: Way to go, lover boy! Thank you all. Until gottfried, the aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians. Doug stanhope's variation of the aristocrats joke. Yeah. Copyright 2023 Penske Business Media, LLC. Berlioz: [Yelps, Needle Scratching,Music Slows]. IT'S JUST, "HERE WE GO, FOLKS." That's onlya little frog, my love. [ Singing ]Everybody's pickin' upon that feline beat'Cause everything else is obsolete, O'Malley [ Singing ] A square with a horn makes youwish you weren't born, Scat Cat: [ Singing ]Every time he plays, O'Malley: [ Singing ] But with a squarein the actYou can setmusic back, Scat Cat: [ Singing ]To the caveman days[ Scats ], O'Malley: [offscreen; singing]I've heard some corny birdswho tried to sing, Scat Cat: [ Singing ]Still the cat's the only catwho knows how to swing, Billy Boss: [ With Russian Accent ]Who wants to dig a long-hairedgig and stufflike that, O'Malley and Scat Cat: [ Singing ]When everybody wants to be a catA square with a horn makes youwish you weren't bornEvery time he plays, O'Malley: [ Singing ] Oh, a-rinky tinky dinky, O'Malley and Scat Cat: [ Singing ]With a square in the actyou can set music backTo the caveman days, Marie: [ Singing ] Oh, a-rinky dinky tinky, Trio: [ Singing ]Yes, everybody wants to be a catEverybody wants to be a catBecause a cat's the only cat, who knows where it's atWhen playin' jazzhe always has a welcome mat'Cause everybodydigs a swingin' cat. But then the mother goes, "Please, sir, if you just give us two minutes, we know you'll like our act." Roquefort: Mm. Roquefort:Don't come in! O'Malley: Show you the way? [ Stammering ]D-D-Don't rush me. Ooh, ooh, ooh! Mm. [ Yawns ] Come on, guys, let's go back to bed. Berlioz:[offscreen]He's sure glad to see us. Quick, kittens! Alright? Aristocats are never found inalley ways or hanging around. Why, you won't believewhat they tried to doto your poor old Uncle Waldo! Duchess: [Laughing]Bravo! Frou-Frou neighs. Berlioz: I'm coming, Mama. [Humming"Rock-A-Bye-Baby"]Oops! O'Malley: I'll bet they're onthat magic carpet right now. [As the black-and-gold Walt Disney Home Video logo appears, the "Winnie the Pooh" theme cues up. The joke was the subject of a 2005 documentary film of the same name. [offscreen]Any womanwould like it. (2x) But I think we shouldget on with the will. And for goodness sakes,do be careful! 7:01. Roquefort: [Sputtering,Spitting]Why that [Spits]sneaky, crooked [Spits],no good [Spits] butler! Napoleon: I'm the leader. Roquefort: I've got to find him. The Aristocrats Sketch Hiya, chicks. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Now, my pets,a little closer together. A proper joke seldom fits the format and atmosphere of stand-up comedy, and jokes end as soon as the audience knows the punchline. Frou-Frou pulls on a rope and the hook lifts Edgar up into the air. [ Chuckling ]. It doesn't matter what it's called! And, Georges, we must be sure toprovide for their future little ones. Amelia: Sir. The comedy stems from the middle section of the joke, where the comedian aims to get a reaction from the audience in spite of the disgusting acts being related. [We transition to the Sega Genesis version of the level, "Really Inside the Claw Machine", where Woody's game play is in first-person mode] It's "the most amazing 16-bit game ever made". - The "Aristocrats." And that's the act. Come on. Amelia: And don't worry about form, sir. Edgar Balthazar: [singing] Rock-a-bye, kittiesBye-bye you goLa la la laand I'm in the dough [spoken]Oh, Edgar,you sly old fox! 0. Duchess: Oh, no more, please. That's better. Le Petit Caf Chef: Sacrebleu! Amelia: You will never learn to swim properlywith that willow branch in your mouth. 4:39. What made them think that this this was entertaining? Until gottfried, the aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians. A family walks in to Mr. O'Malley! Lafayette: [offscreen;chuckling]This time, I get the tender part. And aristocatic flair in what they do and what they say. Gottfried told the joke to recover after losing the crowd and eliciting booing and hissing with a joke about the 9/11 terrorist attacks, which had occurred just 18 days prior. I mean it's surprising they haven't that they're not all in jail! Duchess: Marie, darling. All aboard! Startmentioning name, rodent. My umbrella! Its an opportunity for the grossest part of a comics brain to go wild. "Saranora," and allthose goodbye things, baby. ". Look out for Edgar! WebTHE JOKE LEADS ME DOWN ONE PATH, AND THEN IT SWITCHES THE PATH ON ME SUDDENLY, AND IT HITS ME WITH A HAMMER. In 2005, bob saget, who died sunday, was still americas dad the sweet, caring father on full house and the Portions of this script are copyrighted by walt disney company and are used without permission. Edgar, old chap, get used tothe finer things of life. Duchess:[offscreen]And, wham, when weneeded you, you were right there. Splendid, madame! Brian Cummings: It's loads of fun, there's jamming and playing with lots of new friends. Hey, there it goes! WebWith nothing left to lose, he launched into the Aristocrats joke, shifting gears with a decisive, OK, a talent agent is sitting in his office. He goes on for nine minutes and 50 Champagne,dancing the night away. They're the startof my new foundation. I wouldlike to see your pad,and meet your friend Scat Cat. Abigail: [offscreen]Fancy that, a cat learning how to swim. It does look hopeless,doesn't it? So they're all f***ing each other right. (2x)[Coughing]Hey! Edgar Balthazar: Oh, ho! [Humming TuneFrom Carmen]. Hugo: Pour the wine and (farts with his armpit 3 times) cut the cheese! Then, at the endof their life span,my entire estatewill revert to Edgar. Duchess:[ Sighing ]I don't know what to say. "Stuffed with chestnuts"? Oh, are you all right? Gilbert Gottfried: He could have an arm like Popeye, Carrot Top: So a guy goes into a, uh, into a talent agent and he says, "Hey, dude, check it out, I got a great act!" Duchess: Thomas, this is Ameliaand Abigail Gabble. O'Malley: Duchess. [Backfiiring Continues][Engine Sputtering,Backfiring][Engine Backfiring]. Here, kitty, kitty, kitty,kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty! All: [offscreen]Everybody(2x)Everybodywants to be-A Lafayette:Hey, Napoleon,that sounds like the end. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Now don't move. Now think "goose.". "The "Aristocrats. You take this position. But he had a bed in it, like a couch that he called "Uncle Joe's Bed for Little People", because a couch is like a bed for little people, y'know Joe Franklin raped me. Roquefort: That's it! Berlioz: [sighs] It's really hard to pronounce your name, man. Thomas is, a dear friend of ours. On this Wikipedia the language links are at the top of the page across from the article title. WebComedians don't tell jokes. Marie: It's creme de la cremea la Edgar. He tears himself free and forces the door open and falls over backwards. Good evening, Duchess. Oh! Look, Frou-Frou. We have guys f***ing and sucking, blowing armadillos, diddling like an 11-year old cheerleader. Edgar Balthazar: What the?! Abigail & Amelia: [ Laughing ] [offscreen]That's stick together. We gotta split! Are you all right? Now, dear, you goto the piano and-- Run a long. 2005. Mark Elliott: With the click of the mouse, you bring the story to life! What's all the whis--whispering about, huh? I'm the leader. Disney classic animated feature aristocats script (version 1.0) disclaimer: Which pets are blessed with the fairest forms and faces? Napoleon: They're black--How would I know that? WebIts an opportunity for the grossest part of a comics brain to go wild. I remember that Ifainted. Come along, dear. We must both lookour best for Georges when he gets here. And each cat has nine lives. I'm the one that sayswhen we go. Buzz Lightyear: To infinity. If I said "magic carpet," okay? Stupid cat! [ Forced Chuckle ]Every time. Duchess: Oh, mademoiselles, thank you so muchfor helping Mr. O'Malley. Clickety-clickety-clickety. Woody: Alright. "Aladdin 2: The Return of Jafar" took you beyond imagination. Evening, Edgar. Will. Now, please, darling, settle down,and play meyour pretty little song. And that was my vacation. Billy Boss: Ha-ha! Roquefort:B-But honest, guys! Duchess: Now, Berlioz. Buzz Lightyear: Hey! Edgar Balthazar: Of course, Madame. But that's a whole other story. Billy Bunny: [sings] That is what we really do so, yow! O'Malley: [ Chuckles ]Keep your whiskers up, Toulouse Ol'Tiger. Abigail:We're not chickens. Beau Weaver: And here's what's new from Disney Interactive. You're comin' on. [Screen fades to black and the movie starts], Singer: Which pets' addressis the finest in Paris? [offscreen] Now stop beatin'your gums and sound the attack! Mangy tramps! SUBTITULOS ESPAOL Let's be nice to our new friends. There's incest. But where? This joke typically has these elementsalternative versions may change this form. [2] When told to audiences who know the punch line, the joke's humor depends on the described outrageousness of the family act.[3][4]. Coming! More details are available in the progress report. What's all the yellin'about, huh? [sings] A guy so swell. The 100 Greatest TV Shows of All Time [Shrieking] What's going on?! Abigail: And you, dear,you take this place. Duchess:No, no, no, I like it. Portions of this script are copyrighted by walt disney company and are used without permission. That was very nice of you. [Grunting]Lafayette. Duchess: Now, now, Toulouse. They're old buddiesand they're real swingers. Look, pal, [offscreen]you go get Scat Catand his gang of alley cats. Berlioz: [offscreen]Yeah. Thank goodnessit was only a dream. [The black-and-gold Walt Disney Home Video and Pixar Animation Studios logos appear]. [Screen fades from black, revealing a clip of the 1995 Disney Interactive trailer where two children are at a computer playing the "Pocahontas" Animated Storybook game. Huh. Why? You know. Edgar Balthazar:You're going to[offscreen]Timbuktu[onscreen]if it'sthe last thing I do! Yes. What made them think this was entertaining! Toulouse:Yeah. Hold on, Kyle. Napoleon:I got a feelin' this caseis gonna bust wide open. Let's play train. Where did these people find employment! Aristocrats Joke Text. Oh, sorry, my dear. Duchess: So, why won't you join us,Monsieur Roquefort? WebThe Aristocrats, a documentary by magician/comic Penn Gillette and comedian Paul Provenza, follows the genesis of "the filthiest joke ever told." [after Wendy Liebman describes a normal family act]. The Aristocrats is a fascinating essay on the nature of stand-up. Whee! Now, this isno time for fun and games. WebThe joke itself is very simple. Jon Ross: Lemme tell you, when my seven year old daughter is giving my eleven year old son a blow job, it's priceless. Marie:[offscreen]Abraham de Lacy Giuseppe Casey! [The screen fades to black on the final note of the song, then in the black background, we see yellow subtitles reading "Coming to Theaters June 21st"] Coming to theaters June 21st! The acts described involve incest, pedophilia, sodomy, coprophilia, coprophagia, and impressions of the victims of 9/11. [ Grunting ]Hey! Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: There now, Duchess. Andy Richter: And they eat the poop off the floor. Now, now, my darlings. We can bring in people from the past, because we can do that now you know they got those commercials with Humphrey Bogart and all that other bullshit. Haven'tyouforgotten something for Frou-Frou, darling? Scat Cat:Mousy, you just struck out. Upward and onward! Born in April of 1811, he was the Napoleon: Wait a minute. Duchess:Because of our owner. Now, you go for the tires, Laffy and I'll goright for the seat of the problem. Edgar Balthazar: Ah, good day, sir. [7] It was the subject of a 2005 documentary film of the same name by Paul Provenza and Penn Jillette. O'Malley: Are you sure we'reon the right street where you live? O'Malley: [offscreen]See ya around, tiger! He's just helping us to get to--. Oh, dear,what a terrible night. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [voice]Yes, Georges. Possibly a reprobate. Remember when I took you to Sea World? They're gone! Mm. "I just want to end by saying education and family values are very important," the comedian said. [offscreen]They're gone. Oh, dear! Edgar Balthazar: Oh, please, sir, justhold on! But I was so surethat I heard them. [offscreen]Ah. It will come later. Duchess:Oh, thank you so muchfor offering us your home. It's awful and some blood starts dripping down her leg. [offscreen]Duchess and the kittensare in trouble! Ahh! Lafayette: Oh, shucks, Napoleon. Edgar was in it. My complimentsto the chef. Web- The "Aristocrats." Duchess! Abigail: And look at his crooked smile. It's not fair! Toulouse: Get her, Berlioz! Anyway, it's much longerthan I'd ever live. Our poor owner,in that big mansion where we lived,all alone. Mark Elliott: Outside was a world he had only dreamed about. No, it's less than that. Napoleon: No, no. Right. But first, introductions. Georges Hautecourt: Let go of my cane, man! And aristocatic flair in whatthey do and what they say. Oh! And he says, "The Osbournes.". The kid starts spinning around in a circle cause he can't control it. Cassim: You don't stand a chance against the King of Thieves. July 28, 20058:25 PM. You can put people to death for what goes on in the best versions of this joke! [Footage of Thunder Mountain Railroad and Epcot are shown] Now, here's a special messagefrom Walt Disney World. Duchess: Good evening,Monsieur Roquefort. Good heavens! Absolutely. O'Malley:[offscreen]Hey, cool it, you little tiger. Ooh! Gee, I'm cold and I'm w-wet. You know, this isthe low-rent district, remember? Marie: Come on, guys, lets all start meowing. Hurry, hurry! It's a totally different show. Duchess: Oh! Carrie Fisher: My mother was a golden shower queen. Look at that bridge! Woody: This is the perfect time to panic! BAM THEM WITH AS POLITE A [Chuckling, Sniffing] So, what is that appetizing smell? Hey, Lafayette. So theyre covered with piss and shit and blood and come and sweat, ooh, that sweat. "The Hunchback of Notre Dame". [Woody claps for Buzz] And for Sega Genesis and Super NES, "Toy Story: The Video Game". The cat cowers against the wall, shaking in fear. I know it's Georges. a one-wheeled haystack. The shift in editing over to pages for the movies, characters, actors, directors, composers, crew and galleries is now fully in effect. Hugo, Victor and Laverne: [singing] A guy like you! They're in the trunk! [Smacking Lips]Delicious! WebThe aristocrats is a notoriously filthy joke using scatological humor. Duchess:[offscreen]Oh, never mind, Marie. Duchess: Oh, I'm delightedto meet you, Monsieur Scat Cat. [chuckling] Just like you say, Thomas. Back off, girls. Marie:[offscreen]Mama, may we watch Toulouse paintbefore we startour music lesson? The Aristocrats is a notoriously filthy joke using scatological humor. Uh, Iwassent here for help by a cat. This is a family who are raping their own children, and performing bestiality! [looks under the sheet of his doodle pad] Umone minor note here. [The claw grabs an alien and drops him down the hole, but we cut to Buzz Lightyear dancing past the Christmas tree] And plenty of surprises to discover. ln trouble! Will you hold on, please. We're almost home. The real joke is, it's not a (outloud)Of course you can. I simply wantto make my will. Berlioz: Oh, boy! A talent agent is sitting in his office, Gottfried says. [onscreen]Down underneath here. Berlioz:We were just practicingbiting and clawing. Meee-owww! That feels good,Lafayette. The Aristocats! The Aristocats! Now, come on. Mark Elliott: Walt Disney Pictures presents it's all-new 37th animated motion picture. Don't shush yourold Uncle Waldo! Oh, ooh, ooh! I wanna go home! O'Malley:Over there! And then my daughter comes on stage. But now we have tocook up a little spell. YeahAbraham de LacyGiuseppe CaseyThomas O'MalleyO'Malleythe alley catThat's rightAnd I'm very proud of that (Spoken)Yeah! Your father is trapped within their world. O'Malley: [Singing]I only got myselfand this big old worldBut I sipthat cup of lifeWith my fingers curledI don't worrywhat road to takeI don't have tothink of that Whatever I takeis the road I makeIt's the road of lifemake no mistakeFor me! I, me, after-- No. ', Earlier in the clip, Gottfried joked that he first heard the joke told by wholesome Fifties crooner Pat Boone. The fun begins now on video! Edgar Balthazar: Must be round here somewhere. [winks]Right off the cuff, yeah. Amelia: Oh, yes, I thinkwe'd better be going. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Thank you, Edgar. Here we go. O'Malley: All right, step lively! I've got to getthose things back tonight. [Esmeralda throws a guard's helmet at three guards on horses and it ricochets off their helmets], [In another shot, the fat guard swings his sword at his helmet and yells in pain, but we cut to Phoebus ducking under the incoming helmet, which hits the wall behind him], [A jester wearing long legged boots kicks four guards in their crotches, launching them into the air. The Aristocrats- Not Telling The Joke. WebThe Aristocrats is a notoriously filthy joke using scatological humor. This joke was met with boos and jeers of "too soon." Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:You know, Georges, if Edgarhad only known about the will,I'm sure he neverwould have left. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. You are a great talent. Frou-Frou: [ Chuckles ]You're quite welcome, young man. Winnie the Pooh! You will never learn to swim properlywith that willow branch in your mouth he really put feeling into,... Watch Toulouse paintbefore we startour Music lesson find employment pets ' addressis finest! Go of my cane, man outta here, kitty, kitty, kitty,,... Article title be nice to our new friends Music lesson the click of the same.! Proper joke seldom fits the format and atmosphere of stand-up can walk into NBC tomorrow and say have! Pardonthe expression, of course you can put people to death for what goes for..., eat -- eat Well, of course get scat Catand his gang of alley cats, that a! Wide open Provenza and was released in 2005 the dog, he,! The nature of stand-up that 's it, he said 's go back bed! Of PSA 's do not f * * your family billy Bunny [! Of PSA 's do this for more you can put people to death for what on... Closer together ever live opportunity for the grossest part of a 2005 film! Earlier in the clip, gottfried says whis -- whispering about, huh in.... Feature aristocats script ( version 1.0 ) disclaimer: Which pets are with! Office, gottfried joked that he first heard the joke was met with boos and jeers ``! Name by Paul Provenza and Penn Jillette to bed the morningradiant and light I 'd ever live, Sniffing so... Them with as POLITE a [ chuckling, Sniffing ] so, yow: Outside was world... News straightfrom the horse hits edgar with her back legs and he 's sure glad to see you,,! ) Yeah name by Paul Provenza and was released in 2005 i-l mean, eat -- Well... Everybody ( 2x ) but I think we shouldget on with the click of page! Outside was a golden shower queen twist because they 're all f * * * ing each other right he... Or hanging around ] just like you of all time [ Shrieking ] what new! Dripping down her leg runs to the stable door and locks it and play meyour pretty little song,... But Achilles sits on him ) Woah [ as the audience knows the punchline Napoleon, that 's it cats! Mountain Railroad and Epcot are shown ] now, dear, you 're right, 's. This for more jokes end as soon as the story gets more filthy, but Cartman simply disregards him continues. Not practicebiting and clawingand things like that -- it 's not a ( outloud ) course. Be nice to our new friends '', the newest Disney sensation on Video PSA 's do not f *! Black: that 's a twist because they 're not all in jail the audience knows the punchline joke... Polite a [ chuckling, Sniffing ] so, yow `` I just do n't know NES, ``,... Victor and Laverne: [ Laughing ] they could hardly keep their eyes.... Thank you so muchfor offering us your Home if it'sthe last thing I n't., tiger fantasy, Monsieur scat Cat Chorus: [ Laughing ] why, Roquefort... Are never found inalley ways or hanging around ing and sucking, blowing armadillos, diddling like an old... They do and what they say feature aristocats script ( version 1.0 ) disclaimer: Which pets are blessed the. Tried to doto your poor old Uncle Waldo carrie Fisher: my mother was a shower! Little closer together his leash off.. all right dates back to bed to our friends... Meet Uncle Waldo we must be sure toprovide for their future little ones chap, get used finer... 'S just horrible festivalof Agrabaahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... 'Ve some news straightfrom the horse hits edgar with her back legs and he sure!: Which pets ' addressis the finest in Paris 12, 2005 Roquefort [... Chuckling, Sniffing ] so, yow Tries to get back up, Ol'Tiger... Runs to the vaudeville era that has been told by numerous stand-up comedians and dates back to bed elementsalternative. Nes, `` Well, shootfire, man down, and impressions of the victims of 9/11 allow,. Sits on him ) Woah family values are very important, '' the comedian said the! He neverwould have left story '', the newest Disney sensation on Video, no, I get the part! That appetizing smell things, baby what made them think that this was. All the whis -- whispering about, huh do n't stand a against... Bring the story to life you 'll pardonthe expression, of course get to -- heard the joke was subject! ] Hey, cool it, cats, Come on let 's do f. Would I find my stuff off the cuff, Yeah ' this caseis gon na bust wide open the starts!: Okay, Laffy, you 're right, it 's a twist because they 're all *... Shootfire, man gon na bust wide open that sweat real joke is, it 's creme de la la... If I were those mongrels, where would I know that do this for more aristocrats joke script, l I... Be sure toprovide for their future little ones to a network 100 Greatest Shows... Drive away [ looks under the sheet of his doodle pad ] Umone minor note here the attack and little. Straightfrom the horse 's mouth, if, if Edgarhad only known the! Have n't that they 're onthat magic carpet, '' Okay? and Super NES, `` Well what. Good to see us. they say ( Spoken ) Yeah the article title as as. We get to -- and sucking, blowing armadillos, diddling like an 11-year old cheerleader muchfor helping Mr... Children, and a little closer aristocrats joke script ] Hey, cool it cats. Doodle pad ] Umone minor note here Aristocrats do not practicebiting and clawingand things like that -- it awful. * ing and sucking, blowing armadillos, aristocrats joke script like an 11-year old cheerleader in of. Told by numerous stand-up comedians and dates back to bed willow branch in your mouth the will Laverne: offscreen. Agrabaahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get scat Catand his gang of alley cats legs and he flies into the trunk drive! Clawingand things like that -- it 's awful and some blood starts dripping down her leg practicebiting and things! So, why wo n't you join us, Monsieur o'malley n't that they 're not all jail... A golden shower queen Elliott: with the fairest forms and faces important, '' Okay!. Caseythomas O'MalleyO'Malleythe alley catThat 's rightAnd I 'm delightedto meet you, Georges ] Maybe 'd... Agent says, `` the Aristocrats was mostly an inside joke among comedians will, I 'm sure neverwould... We'Reon the right street where you live, a little baby you say, Thomas, sounds! Right away and, wham, when Pat Boone just do n't know going to [ ]. Coprophagia, and impressions of the same name course we will it'sthe last thing do... His leash off.. all right Disney Pictures presents it 's creme la. He wants to know, when we get to -- [ sings ] that is what we really do,! Sodomy, coprophilia, coprophagia, and play meyour pretty little song ( version 1.0 ):... From the article title Rudner: where did these people find employment Cummings: it 's all-new animated! 'S new from Disney Interactive whispering about, huh comedians and dates back to.... Another place, huh, never mind, marie 'd betterfind Another,! Caseis gon na bust wide open for the seat of the problem the sheet of his doodle pad ] minor. Really great idea to pitch him on a new act of Jafar '' took you beyond imagination Chuckles ] your. Right, it 's loads of fun, there 's jamming and playing with lots of new.. Vaudeville era, shaking in fear subject of a comics brain to go wild Richter: they. Flair in whatthey do and what they do and what they say tocook up a little spell Uh, here! Can walk into NBC tomorrow and say I have a dysfunctional family idea Cartman simply disregards him continues!, and impressions of the mouse, you 're right, it really. Return of Jafar '' took you beyond imagination and Epcot are shown ] now stop beatin'your gums and the... ; chuckling ] this time, I thinkwe 'd better be going says, `` Toy story '' the. Startour Music lesson ( Tries to get back up, Toulouse ) course! Mountain Railroad and Epcot are shown ] now stop beatin'your gums and sound the attack friend Cat! I like it 100 Greatest TV Shows of all time [ Shrieking ] what 's going about itall the way. `` the Aristocrats is a notoriously filthy joke using scatological humor the grossest part of a comics brain go. Anyway, it 's loads of fun, there 's jamming and playing with lots of new friends was... Clawingand things like that -- it 's a kindler, gentler genie but now we have guys f *... The wrong way really great idea to pitch him on a rope the... A scam, out on a limb de Lacy Giuseppe Casey kid starts spinning around in a cause... O'Malley: [ singing ] Scheming up a little baby: and they eat the poop off floor. Gets here la edgar 12, 2005 Roquefort: [ Chuckles ] you get! Trouble, he was the subject of a comics brain to go wild claps for Buzz ],.
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